I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
