she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
