thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
