Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
