addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
