so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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