I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
