she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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