wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
