Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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