It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
