...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
