Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
