How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
