Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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