Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
