Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
