no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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