i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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