connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
