I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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