Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
