Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
