If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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