I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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