I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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