If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He better not be in your backpack
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
