So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
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