How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize