whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
