check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize