And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
