I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
They have beer where we have blood.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
