you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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