ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
