thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
