haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just threw up on my dentist
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize