You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I wear drunk well.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
