UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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