Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
