It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
