you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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