he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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