Pappa wants mamma naked
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
