It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
