just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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