im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
