I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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