Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
