i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
