I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
