So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize