Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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