You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
No stitches, just platelets and will power
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
