wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
