Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
How external is "for external use only"?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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