Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
