I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she smelled like a LAN party
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
