Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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