I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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