I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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