It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize