Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

fuck the hobbit

(301): View more from Maryland

what about unicorns?

(732): View more from New Jersey

fuck those pointy horses

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(303): View more from Colorado

Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine

(303): View more from Colorado

Oh and I threw up on myself...

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(214): View more from Texas

new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night

(401): View more from Rhode Island

no, that is not a typo

(401): View more from Rhode Island

i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday

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(720): View more from Colorado

Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.

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(585): View more from New York

If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays

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(770): View more from Georgia

Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.

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(727): View more from Florida

My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?

(303): View more from Colorado

Threesome!

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