I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
