dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
