fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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