You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
