Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I will be naked everywhere
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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