which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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