is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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