OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
