sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize