I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
