It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
